February 13
Who do you give a hand to?
Have you heard about he lady from Rhode Island?
She rented her house to a man with one hand.
She stopped by for the rent,
He said, “I don’t have a cent.”
“Oh, she responded, “I could lend you a hand.”
Author: Paula Kochanek
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 12 Commitment
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 11 It’s okay to sit down.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 10 Sit down and stop causing a commotion
February 10
Sit down! Stop causing a commotion.
There once was a long standing notion,
That became a poisonous potion.
God is too busy for us,
Quit making a fuss.
Sit down and stop causing a commotion.
What an awful thing to say, “God is too busy for us.” Worse is when you believe it. My mom was raised with that believe and passed it onto her children. Makes you feel so unimportant. You walk out your life doing your best not to cause a commotion because what if God suddenly paid attention to you? Would you tremble in fear or be delighted He finally saw you? And after He saw you fussing gave you permission to make a commotion. You would expect to be liberated.
I walked around in a state of numbness for almost half my life. It felt normal to suppress emotions. Mine didn’t really matter anyway and if they did come out they would quickly be dismissed as not important.
The year I started a commotion in my family for sharing a truth that had been held deep in my subconscious and could no longer remain controlled was the year my mom had a heart attack. I shared with her a feeling that had plagued me for many years. I wanted some answers. She listened intently to what I had to say but didn’t say much in return. I could tell by her silence and facial expressions my “feeling” was real.
It happened a few days after we spoke. Commotion had broken out. In the days that followed one of my siblings blamed me for her heart attack. Things spiraled down after that. My mom’s dementia worsened and the rest of the family thought it was all in my head. Those very words spoken over me many times as a child from my mother were again causing me to second guess all my feelings and thoughts. Not the liberation I thought I would have. If I didn’t have some amazing close friends at that time I don’t know if I would have made it through.
My personal commotion had been going on inside me for a long time. When I was younger I could use its force to push through barriers that fed my need for significance. I used it to be the first woman in a traditional man job. That caused a commotion as well. My divorce caused a commotion. I bought a house and that distracted me for awhile. My children were growing up and out of a broken need I would bond with some of their friends. I needed to feel needed. That way I didn’t have to look inside myself. But eventually that became toxic as well.
God was about to show me He was busy getting my attention.
I wasn’t paying attention to my own needs. They didn’t matter, right? I found myself having more and more down days than up days. Headaches, anxiety, angry outbursts, feelings of unworthiness, and the need to stay in control was becoming harder and harder. Commotion was everywhere. Nowhere to run….
So sit. Sit down.
Several years of being in the counseling seat helped me know God is never too busy. I didn’t realize how busy I was. Busy be angry. I was clueless of how it was affecting my children, my job, my self-worth. I heard God say it was time to seek help but still I waited five more years before seeking it out. Healing doesn’t come in one session. Healing from deep rooted pain and abuse requires gentle recovery.
I am not done in my healing process but I don’t run from it either.
It is hard to watch the effects of my pain in the lives of my children. Commotion is all around them, on their children too. I pray they know God is not too busy for them either. I know they will also need to sit at His feet and heal.
Do you have commotion in your life? Is it time to sit and let the counsel of God heal you? If God has spoken let me encourage you not to wait 5 years like me. You are important and God is not too busy. He loves you.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 9 Walk in God’s Strength
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 8 Mastermind your poop.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 7 Be yourself.
February 7
Be yourself.
Where do go when you don’t know where to be?
How can I get there if I can’t see?
Close your eyes,
Hear those lies?
Who you are is the perfect place to be.
You aren’t the right person! That silent lie that permeates the depth of my subconscious causing me to feel out of place no matter where I am. I don’t belong here.
I was born the fourth daughter out of a family of seven. My parents fully expected I would be a boy. There were no sonograms then to reveal gender. They already had a name picked out. The nurse proudly exclaimed to my mother, “It’s a boy!” Only after the cleanup was it discovered I was in fact a girl. Disappointment from the beginning.
Medical research has proven a baby in utero feels pain and responds to the voices it hears. I often wonder how much male programming I was already being subject to before I made it out into the world. Then to hear the tone of disappointment, even if I didn’t conceptually understand, was setting the stage for years of feeling like a disappointment. My parents had no idea what they were doing. I don’t doubt for one minute they didn’t love me or my 6 siblings. They grew up believing children just forget things by the next day. I don’t blame them for their ignorance. I fully believe they did the best they could. I am a parent and I was ignorant to many things as well. Believe me my children will remind me, often.
Struggling to feel like I belong has been a long journey for me. Middle children, of which I am one, are often the forgotten one. They have the distinction of being the peace maker, the quiet one. No one bothers to ask if something may be upsetting. The middle child has learned to hide what she really feels. As life moves from childhood to adolescence to adulthood she has learned to not to matter. If someone dares to get too close, the fear of really mattering, she will unconsciously push them away. How can anyone love her if she doesn’t love herself?
As I enter the next decade of middle age I look back to the year I finally closed my eyes to hear those lies. There were many. Some have been permanently shut up. Others need reminding that God said I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no where I can go that He is not there. In Him I will always belong. In Him I move and have my being. The more I let Him reveal to me His plan as He designed my life the better I get at recognizing the lies. The better I get at recognizing the lies the quicker I know who I am. The quicker I remember who I am the less I feel the need to find the place I to belong. When I am just me, the way He fashioned me, I am in the place I belong.
Close your eyes and just be you.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 6 Be Kind to Yourself
February 6
Be kind to yourself.
What can be done for the winter blues?
Waiting to sit in the summer hues.
Surround your space,
With mercy and grace.
Essential oils also diffuse.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 5 A Rule To Be Broken
February 5
There once was a long standing rule,
That for generations so cruel.
It was your age,
That determined your wage.
Forget that lie, it’s old school.
A Rule To Be Broken
Aren’t you glad to be living in today’s world? My parents tried to convince me of this rule. All I needed was one career, one permanent job and that would sustain me until I reached my social security age of 65.
Funny thing though, my social security age went from 65 to 66 and 8 months. That’s cruel. Oh, and if I want to push it to 70 I could gain another 2%. It’s so hilarious I am figuring out how to retire at 62. I may not be a math genius but I can’t be old school either. I need to be social. Social media savvy. Secure as well. If I wait until 70 I may not be so socially secure waiting on that social security check.
Dreams are revealing.
I had a dream that my job was to secure a certain building to be emptied of all persons traveling on a specific school bus. Once the door to the building was closed anyone trying to leave would not be allowed on the school bus. To secure the door a plastic tieback was clipped to the top of it. If it was broken by someone trying to get out that would signal they missed the deadline. I had the authority to deny them a seat on the bus. As the group was preparing to leave a friend from grammar school showed up. I had not seen her in many years and the leader of the group was helping her collect her things. She was disorganized and I so wanted to help her but when I tried to get to her a man was exiting the glass door. He broke the plastic tieback. I motioned to the group leader that this “rule breaker” must not be allowed on the bus. Time was running out and the group leader motioned back “just come on we need to move. Just let him come.” What! I am doing my job and now you are going to just say forget it, let him come. No! No! I won’t have it. I keep the rules.
In my earnest desire to keep the rules the group leader and my friend disappeared as they hurried to get on the bus. The man made it past me too as I was once again securing the door. By the time I secured the door and gathered my own things I had forgotten to ask what bus number it was. Did I mention the significance of this bus? This bus was going to change something really big in the world?
The amount of buses and vehicles waiting for passengers appeared endless. I was running as fast as I could without dropping my things. The more I looked for where I needed to be the more I didn’t know where to go. I realized I never found out what number bus it was. How could I even ask someone to point me in the direction of a bus I didn’t know the number of? I could feel the sinking realization of “I missed it.” I missed my chance. I missed my chance to change the world.
I couldn’t stand the pain of believing my friend and group leader were gone. So was the man I tried to stop. They were on their way to change the world. Not me. My inability to show grace and compassion for the man that was just less than a minute late and at the same time desiring to show grace and compassion to my friend, cost me my desire to be part of something world changing. It was very confusing.
Have you ever woken from a dream and still felt the emotional effects of it?
I need to break my plastic tieback and get on the bus.
I want to change the world. I want to be open to a last minute change and at the same time be assured I didn’t miss the bus. I want to change my little world and at the same time the whole world. I want to help you change your world and at the same help you change the whole world. Maybe I am supposed to tell you, “break that rule and get on the bus!” That’s what Rosa Parks did. She changed her world and the whole world at the same time.
But beware of the motive of your heart. It must be love. You will never break your plastic tieback out of hate or rebellion. You will never change your world for the good that way. If you get on that bus your world will become small.
What rule do you need to break to change your world? The whole world?
You can reach me at pkochanek127@gmail.com. I believe you need to break a rule.
A Limerick A Day to Keep You On Your Way February 4 Winter Writer’s Wit
February 4
Winter can make you into a hermit.
Stay warm inside and just sit.
So use this season,
Don’t try to reason.
Write whatever is in your wit.
Winter Writer’s Wit
I can really be hard on myself in the winter months. I just want to crawl up into a blanket and stay there until Spring. Late, really late Spring at that. I live for the warm weather and 12 hours of sunlight is just fine with me. Are you like that too?
So why do I stay here in New England? Yes I love the trees in the fall and the smell of leaves and wood burning. Could I take 70 degrees on Thanksgiving? Heck, yeah. Christmas season without cold and snow? Strangely no. Santa in a swimsuit delivering packages is unnerving. New Year’s can be 70 again.
Spring with its chilly rain, blah. Summer and a hot balmy night, ah! I crave warmth all the time. It was that way even as a child. Summer always brought some kind of deep peace to my soul. I never wanted it to end.
Several years back I visited a friend in Venice, Florida. Nine days, in July. It was hot. I really thought about moving there. Just couldn’t convince my family to make the move. Fast forward 9 years and I seriously considered Arizona. In fact I had a plan to sell my house and go out there for 3 months. I came close to selling the house but through some very unprofessional dealings it just didn’t happen. It’s all good though and I foresee an even better plan unfolding. Sure I will need to suck up some winters but I think it is a test. A test to see if I will be disciplined to write like I said I would. I gave myself a mandate to write every day for 1 year. A few words or a lot of words. Just do it! is my mantra for all of 2018.
I heard these great words a few days ago. Write like you are writing to one person but many will read it. Today my one person is me. Do it! Do it now! Write even if you have to press the delete button a hundred times until the words sound good to yourself. Write until you feel your heart has been emptied knowing once you stop it is because you will begin again tomorrow. Write and do it now! Do it now until you have no more wit.
